Alan goes to my sister's minyan. The first time I actually remember interacting with him was the evening after my mother's funeral. My mother was buried Erev Purim. As soon as it got dark it was Purim. We were in a weird state of mourning and not mourning. We removed our ripped clothing of mourning but we were still sitting Shiva. We were obligated to hear the Megillah. Alan and his wife came over to my mother's apartment in clown costumes and read the Megillah for me and my sister. It was an odd religious moment of grief and silliness. ( The distance of time, and my own state of grief led me to misremember. My sister reminds me that it was Alan's wife Judy who read the Megillah and Alan accompanied Judy in both our performance of the mitzvah and injecting Purim levity to the first night of my mother's Shiva.)
Alan called me about the possibility of making him a tallit. We met on Zoom. We studied texts about the mitzvah of tallit together and then we began trying to figure out what Alan's tallit should look like. I asked Alan if any Biblical verses or lines from the liturgy are especially meaningful to him. Alan responded that in fact one verse resonates especially powerfully for him.
אם אשכחך ירושלם תשכח ימיני
If I forget you, Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its skill.
תדבק לשוני לחכי אם לא אזכרכי
Let my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth if I don’t remember you
Alan mentioned that fifteen years ago he had had a stroke. He was unable to use his right hand and he also had aphasia and had a great deal of difficulty speaking. He said that during that hard time he thought about that text often. However he wasn't sure if it was actually the text that he wanted on his tallit.
The "If I forget you" verse was just so powerful but it also spoke of such a difficult time and it was a difficulty of the past. During the next week or so we lobbed text back and forth via email. I likened the process to moving a big refrigerator, we just kept shifting back and forth and eventually we would hit on the right thing.
Alan is a singer. He often leads services. He is also a member of a Jewish chorus. I leafed through a prayer book. I thought about how If I forget you, Jerusalem is about the destruction of the temple perhaps written the same distance in time from that destruction as we are from the destruction of the World Trade Center.
I thought about the liturgical poem יָהּ רִבּון עָלַם וְעָלְמַיָּא. The last stanza is
לְמִקְדָּשֵׁךְ תּוּב וּלְקדֶשׁ קוּדְשִׁין.
אֲתַר דִי בֵיהּ יֶחֱדוּן רוּחִין וְנַפְשִׁין.
וִיזַמְּרוּן לָךְ שִׁירִין וְרַחֲשִׁין.
בִּירוּשְׁלֵם קַרְתָּא דְשׁוּפְרַיָא:
ב אֲהַלְלָה יְהוָה בְּחַיָּי; אֲזַמְּרָה לֵאלֹהַי בְּעוֹדִי. 2 I will praise the LORD while I live; I will sing praises unto my God while I have my being. ג אַל-תִּבְטְחוּ בִנְדִיבִים-- בְּבֶן-אָדָם, שֶׁאֵין לוֹ תְשׁוּעָה. 3 Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help. ד תֵּצֵא רוּחוֹ, יָשֻׁב לְאַדְמָתוֹ; בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא, אָבְדוּ עֶשְׁתֹּנֹתָיו. 4 His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his dust; in that very day his thoughts perish. ה אַשְׁרֵי--שֶׁאֵל יַעֲקֹב בְּעֶזְרוֹ: שִׂבְרוֹ, עַל-יְהוָה אֱלֹהָיו. 5 Happy is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, ז עֹשֶׂה מִשְׁפָּט, לָעֲשׁוּקִים--נֹתֵן לֶחֶם, לָרְעֵבִים; יְהוָה, מַתִּיר אֲסוּרִים. 7 Who executeth justice for the oppressed; who giveth bread to the hungry. The LORD looseth the prisoners; ח יְהוָה, פֹּקֵחַ עִוְרִים--יְהוָה, זֹקֵף כְּפוּפִים; יְהוָה, אֹהֵב צַדִּיקִים. 8 The LORD openeth the eyes of the blind; the LORD raiseth up them that are bowed down; the LORD loveth the righteous; ט יְהוָה, שֹׁמֵר אֶת-גֵּרִים--יָתוֹם וְאַלְמָנָה יְעוֹדֵד; וְדֶרֶךְ רְשָׁעִים יְעַוֵּת. 9 The LORD preserveth the strangers; He upholdeth the fatherless and the widow; but the way of the wicked He maketh crooked.
Keep us in the loop on this, I love watching the progression of your tallits.
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