Revisiting a Piece

I have been at this work of making Judiaca in fabric for not quite thirty years. Because fabric is inherently fragile, in the past little while I have been asked to repair some pieces that I had worked on a long time ago.

This past Shabbat my friend Doris asked me if I would take a look at the tallit bag I had made for her husband about twenty years ago and if I would remove the atara I had made ( I think) at the same time so the tallit could be cleaned.

The text comes from the haftara that was recited during Ken and Doris's Aufruf.  It comes from Isiah 54:10

כִּ֤י הֶֽהָרִים֙ יָמ֔וּשׁוּ וְהַגְּבָע֖וֹת תְּמוּטֶ֑נָה וְחַסְדִּ֞י מֵאִתֵּ֣ךְ לֹֽא־יָמ֗וּשׁ וּבְרִ֤ית שְׁלוֹמִי֙ לֹ֣א תָמ֔וּט אָמַ֥ר מְרַחֲמֵ֖ךְ יְהוָֽה׃ (ס)

For the mountains may move And the hills be shaken, But my loyalty shall never move from you, Nor My covenant of friendship be shaken —said the LORD, who takes you back in love.

I just used the first phrase of the verse. I built the hills out of a mix of materials including suede, hand dyed silk velvet and cotton tapestry fabric. The letters were not my own, but carefully copied form a calligraphy book.

Unpicking all of the stitches that I had used to attach the atara to the tallit was something of a bear.

I put on an hour long podcast before I began.  I nipped away at all of the stitching. There were moment that I had thought that I would never be done.

Eventually though,  the podcast ended and the task was complete.  I set the tallit to soak  in cold water with dissolved Oxy-clean over night. I then washed the tallit in dish soap,  rinsed the tallit three times,wrapped it in two changes of towel and then hung it to dry.  It's much cleaner now.

Then I had to tackle the tallit bag. 

I love this bag. When I first made this bag Ken was a psychologist on the staff of Sloan Kettering hospital working with children with cancer. 

He is someone who is present for people during the hardest moments in their lives. Ken and Doris' life was also touched by, (hit in the guts) by tragedy when their oldest son died suddenly and unexpectedly when he was barely a toddler.

When I thought about the bag I wanted to make for Ken, I thought back to a moments in my childhood. There was a boy four years behind me at my Orthodox day school.  His leg had been amputated at the knee because he had bone cancer. When I was in eighth grade the boy had taken a turn for the worse.

In the weeks before he died all of the students from grade 7-12 gathered in the school chapel to recite Psalms for the boy. Rabbi Simon was given the task of leading. Some of our teachers had really pretty voices. Rabbi Simon's voice wasn't exactly melodic but it was plaintive and old world and full of sadness.

He would recite a verse

121קכ״א

שִׁ֗יר לַֽמַּ֫עֲל֥וֹת אֶשָּׂ֣א עֵ֭ינַי אֶל־הֶהָרִ֑ים מֵ֝אַ֗יִן יָבֹ֥א עֶזְרִֽי׃

A song for ascents. I turn my eyes to the mountains; from where will my help come?

and then we would repeat it.

עֶ֭זְרִי מֵעִ֣ם יְהוָ֑ה עֹ֝שֵׂ֗ה שָׁמַ֥יִם וָאָֽרֶץ׃

My help comes from the LORD, maker of heaven and earth.

Rabbi Simon's voice was always tinged with sadness.

הִנֵּ֣ה לֹֽא־יָ֭נוּם וְלֹ֣א יִישָׁ֑ן שׁ֝וֹמֵ֗ר יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃

See, the guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps!

The rumble of a few hundred of us answered.

יְהוָ֥ה שֹׁמְרֶ֑ךָ יְהוָ֥ה צִ֝לְּךָ֗ עַל־יַ֥ד יְמִינֶֽךָ׃

The LORD is your guardian, the LORD is your protection at your right hand.

A child had terminal cancer and was near death.

יוֹמָ֗ם הַשֶּׁ֥מֶשׁ לֹֽא־יַכֶּ֗כָּה וְיָרֵ֥חַ בַּלָּֽיְלָה׃

By day the sun will not strike you, nor the moon by night.

We respond to Rabbi Simon but some of us start the reply a little early and other chime in a few beats later.

יְֽהוָ֗ה יִשְׁמָרְךָ֥ מִכָּל־רָ֑ע יִ֝שְׁמֹ֗ר אֶת־נַפְשֶֽׁךָ׃

The LORD will guard you from all harm; He will guard your life.

Some of our teachers reply in booming voices others of us in whispers

יְֽהוָ֗ה יִשְׁמָר־צֵאתְךָ֥ וּבוֹאֶ֑ךָ מֵֽ֝עַתָּ֗ה וְעַד־עוֹלָֽם׃

The LORD will guard your going and coming now and forever.

There are other times I have gathered with a community to recite Psalms in an hour of need. I wanted the bag to be a visual representation of the sound of a community together.  While there are other Psalms that are read in times of trouble I chose the one above. I wrote out the Psalm on several strips of gros-grain ribbon. I then pieced them all together. The words echo and repeat just as they do in a community. I had painted the letters with a metallic marker.

Today I repainted the letters so they could be visible once again.

I worked line by line

until both sides were complete.

An an adult, I always wonder about how effective reciting Psalms actually is. I remember when my friend Marcia had reached the end of her cancer treatments and I realized that there was really nothing to be done, I asked her if I should recite Psalms for her. I cried when I realized that it was the only thing I could offer in her aid.