The wedding bencher

One of the treasures in the package from my aunt was this little book. As you can see it was from my parents' wedding. If you went to a mid-century bar-mitzvah or wedding and they gave out benchers, it was likely that this was the one that you received.

My in-laws used a similar one they had gotten at my cousin David's bar-mitzvah in 1957. When I was little we used to recite Birkat ha Mazon and sing z'mirot out of this little book.

This book was edited by Rabbi Chaim Mordecai Brecher and was published by KTAV Publishing company, this particular edition came out in 1946. I hadn't realized until I started Googleing Rabbi Chaim Mordecai Brecher that this was probably excerpted from the prayerbook he had edited fro KTAV in the late 1930's called Tfillat Yesharim, or Prayers of the Upright.

Whenever I have seen this book as an adult I have been impressed by the breadth of what is inside.

It's a whole lot more than what you might expect in a little Birkat ha Mazon book. It is just about everything you need to live a functioning Jewish life at home.

I was touched to see that Rabbi Brecher thought about who might be using this book. He knew that not everyone could read Hebrew. He transliterated every blessing or prayer that might be recited by the head of a household, so even lack of knowledge didn't keep them away from fulfilling a mitzvah or conducting home-based ceremonies.

I was fascinated to see the separate morning prayers for boys and for girls.

The prayers for boys starts with the Modeh Ani, a short prayer that gives thanks for waking up and then goes into blessing about Torah, the ritual handwashing and

then the blessing you say after you use the bathroom...

Then it continues into the blessing you say when putting on tzitzit followed by text about learning Torah.

The morning prayer for girls is different. It starts with the same prayer of thankfulness for waking up, and yes, the verbs are put in the feminine form.

But then, rather than focusing on Torah...

the prayer for girls focuses on fearing God.

The texts for girls are all about faithfulness and less about interacting with the texts.

It's a funny middle ground. Rabbi Brecher made sure that there was a prayer for girls.

I now open the floor for discussion.

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