Activities Best Left in the Bathroom

When my Aunt Sheva would see one of us eating, say an ice cream cone, on the street she would always quote in Hebrew, Ha Ochel BaChitz Domeh l’Kelev,  “One who eats outdoors resembles a dog.” Mostly, we didn’t follow Aunt Sheva’s edict, except to quote it before we began to eat.


While I am a big believer in good street food, I do think that there are activities that probably ought not to take place out in public, on the street. Living here in the city, on Broadway, I do often see people engaging in activities that probably should be best left at home.

When I used to walk my youngest to elementary school invariably, I used to pass the same  suit clad man walking to the subway while he was shaving with his battery operated shaver.  Aside from the shaver, he always looked completely put together and  businesslike.  Often, when I leave the house, I see a delivery man from the Chinese restaurant on the corner, sitting in his car while carefully tweezing his facial hair while looking in the side view mirror. maybe I’m a sorehead like my aunt, but I really believe that it’s not an activity to engage in in public.

There are always women applying makeup on the subway. I can sort of get refreshing your lipstick. I always worry when I see a woman applying her mascara on the lurching subway. I wonder if she will poke that wand inter her eye. So far, I haven’t seen anyone do that. I guess the women, who like me don’t have steady enough hands, do their make-up at home. I’m always surprised to see women doing full on makeup application complete with foundation and concealer on the subway. It does feel too personal an activity to do out in public. too often, those women would look better with less makeup on their faces.

lately, I have been seeing people working on their dental hygiene while walking down the street or while sitting on the subway.   My family will on occasion all brush and floss our teeth together in the bathroom.  Somehow, public flossing on the street seems sort of creepy. I don’t want to get sprayed by those flickies.  today, I saw a woman walking down Amsterdam Avenue working on of those hand held flossers.  For an additional bit of yuk factor the flosser was covered with lipstick.

Some things really do belong at home.