Suicidal Housewares

When I was a college senior I shared an apartment with three friends. One afternoon I was alone in the kitchen doing homework and the drinking glasses we had set on the counter to dry began doing the most extraordinary thing. They seemed to waddle to the edge of the counter and then leap to their deaths on the floor. I intervened after one and perhaps two of the lemming tumblers leapt to their deaths on the kitchen floor.

My room mates asked me why I hadn’t intervened before the first glass had leapt to it’s demise. I replied that I found the line of waddling glasses so completely fascinating that I simply had to watch.

Before you decide that I’m completely off my rocker, there was actually a rational reason for our lemming tumblers. Our kitchen was on the other side of the wall from the laundry room. The vibration from the washing machines  through the shared wall is what caused the death of our glasses.



Yesterday morning though, we had a similar act of house ware  despair.

My husband was out of town for work several years ago. He bought me a decorative ceramic plate painted with the image of a woman reclining on a couch as a gift. We hung the plate over the door to the kitchen.


Yesterday morning, I heard a giant crash n the morning. The painted plate had crashed to the floor but had taken one of our coronation cups with it.


Here you see the culprit, and some of the damage caused. Do you see any signs of despair here?


Maybe it was the drinking.

The cup that was smashed was of the coronation of George and Elizabeth of the King’s Speech fame.


I told the kids that some of their inheritance was lost.


The really weird thing is that the plate had holes drilled into it for hanging wire. The wire was completely intact.  The picture molding hook was intact as well. The CSI in our apartment has concluded that the platter dove to it’s death and took the king and queen with it. The motive has not yet been determined.


  1. If you were here on the west coast, it would have been an earthquake. There? I don't know.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts